For the ACX Narrators

Auditioning for a book is tough business. I just opened my book Devour that Spaghetti and got about fifty auditions in a couple of weeks. I numbered them all and wrote their names, then I looked them up in the ACX database to see what else they had recorded.

There was a wide variety there - some had nothing, some had a dozen samples; some had a background and picture, some had very little. I tried not to hold it against newcomers as I was going to listen to all fifty auditions anyway.

But I will say, before it's over, being able to see your face and know a little about you will help me distinguish you from the other forty-nine. If you have the chance, work on that page that ACX provides you. When it was over ACX removed the auditions and I needed that page just to contact you and offer you a pdf. Once again, it helped to see your picture.

When I got to listening to each of the fifty auditions, I had another surprise. My sample was a little long, and a lot of auditioners were unable to keep the same good pace throughout. Toward the end they'd be faster, or more jumbled, or less lively. I began using the end of their audition instead of the beginning. I was looking for a consistent sound that I liked, that I would keep liking even after five minutes or so. Often they just couldn't sustain it.

Narrators are sometimes worried that their reading is too choppy or something. This was never a problem for me. They made good sentences and for the most part I understood them clearly. In that sense Ijudged purely on the sound and if they gave me their true best sound, I would say, there isn't much you can do to improve that. You gave it your best. Someone will find you and like you.

If on the other hand there was background noise, I heard it, because my hearing aids amplify that kind of thing. I have trouble with about a third to a half of what I hear in normal life anyway, so it was important for me to get someone for whom that wasn't an issue. I had to be able to get 100% at the beginning, 100% at the end, and 100% even of their sample from the ACX page. If there was whirring or background sounds or something like that, they were out.

You may wonder if contacting the author outside of the audition is helpful or pestering. In job situations I think it's helpful and this is a kind of job situation; it shows your interest. In my case I don't think it influenced me one way or another. To some I think they consider it pestering. I'm really not sure what to tell you. I can say confidently that it didn't make that much difference to me. I enjoy having a professional relationship with people but I'm not always good at it myself. Sometimes it presses me and I'm not sure I can answer on time, etc. So it touches some insecurities and besides it puts you a little outside of the usual way of relating to the other forty-nine. Still, I didn't hold it against you.

There were some people that were so late they lost out altogether. I have to admit I favored people who got it in within 3-7 days over people who got it in 7-20 days into it. There's probably not much you can do about that. But I'll guess the guy who sits on his ACX page and gets them in within 1-2 days does more business than most of you. The further up the line you are, the better. I listen to them in order and believe me, it's the last ones that sound like the same-old same-old.

I may be unusual in that my hearing is somewhat weak, but I used to be a musician so I know what it's like to struggle to make something sound really good. I also know what it's like to listen back to yourself and say, I can't believe it sounds like that. But believe it; if it is you at your natural rhythm being as clear as you can, it's probably the best you can do. And I will judge it accordingly.

Some people mentioned actual training they got in voice-overs etc. I don't recall that having anything to do with my decision. I did it pretty much based on sound and my own response to that sound. Although in some cases I knew a little about the person before I listened, I tried to listen to all fifty auditions purely on the basis of sound. When I had narrowed it down to about seven or eight that were good enough for the final cut, I went back and reviewed what I knew about them. Those seven or eight were all good enough to go with in the end; I'd have been happy with any of them. There were a lot of good auditions in there. The competition is stiff.

Good luck to all of you and thanks for auditioning!

This site is one of several that are getting a lot of visitors these days. It's possible that the stories that are buried deep within it (available on the template) are still popular amongst my old esl students and people that they knew. People who know about the trasure of hidden stories would understandably come back whether Google has brought them here or not.

It's my understanding that Google does not bring people here, because long ago I told it not to. That's why I so freely complain and gripe about the writer's life here, because I know that it's kind of a secret, not too well hidden, but hidden from Google in any case. But maybe people like writer's gripes. They might like to listen in on bitter complaints about cranking out good stuff and getting almost no sales in return. Or maybe they find me because they are clicking on writer's faces in the other blogs - the writer's faces will bring them here. Hemingway and friends kind of attract those clicks, maybe.

I don't know what it is. If I'm providing some entertainment for a thousand people a month, I'm ok with that. I'm just sitting here, complaining, musing about the writer's life, getting a little annoyed by the stuff I read (right now, for example, I'm reading about schizophrenia, and all the while dealing with mental illness in my own family - it's enough to push me over the edge, but, having agreed to read it, the best course is to plow on). Blog views are up. Does anyone care? I have this network of blogs out there, some of it having to do with writing, and it could provide entertainment if that's what you're up to. Or wait for my next short stories, which I believe will be called Writer's Block and will be about writers' lives. You think it's an advantage to sit in your chair at home and do your work? Not this chair. We have manic dogs that can't get along, and, as I mentioned, mental illness in the house. I go out, driving around, doing errands as a break, and what I think about is the stuff I forgot to do back here. Ah well, more of the same.